[Privat] Game of Thrones - Winter Love

Jon eats slowly, trying to keep himself from reaching out to touch her hair. "It felt good to be near a familiar Weirwood again, it's home" he admits, it was home, no matter what anyone thinks. "I am glad that you enjoy my company, Your Grace and that my presense here can make it feel less empty" he smiles back, the meal is made better just from being near her. Years ago he would have never everything to sit up in the dias with the Starks, not off to the back, not that people like Jory wasn't good company but it wasn't enough at the time. Now that is is sitting in the seat up with the Queen, the last Stark in Winterfell, in the North as well, he feels the bittersweet moment that he got what he wanted in a way at least. A younger servant girl is placing down another sliced up loaf of bread, she seems to freeze the closer she is to Ghost as she has never been near such a creature. She nearly misses the table but steadies herself. "F-forgive me, Your Grace" she studders.
Jon looks up at the girl , giving her a small, warm smile. "He won't harm you, he's just here for the sausages" a small chuckle escapes his lips. The serving girl smile nervously and nods. "Thank you, Your M' -" her eyes widen as she rambles. Jon makes a motion with her hands, trying to get her to calm down. "Jon is alright , I'm no Lord nor a King" he says , hoping it will calm the girl. She simply not and curtsies and leaves the hall.

As the girl leaves he had a short chance to exhale before replying Sansa. "They are very hard to break, but it was comfortable to sleep in a real bed" he takes another sip from his ale. "It is a fine building, the glass is very beautiful, you must be proud of it" another smile crosses his lips, he gently brushes his fingers over her hand while reaching for another piece of bread. "Like I said, people love you and the North"

Jon looks down at the massive amount of white fur currently resting against Sansa's lap. "He is always so quiet, my Ghost" he chuckles and pets the Direwolf, scratching him behind the ear, earning a rare and happy rumble from the beast."He does seem to be fond of lemon cakes, no wonder you get along so well" the smile widens, it's the same one he has had since he sat down next to her. Jon is clearly taken aback by the question, after a moment of processing it he nods. "If it please you, Your Grace. It would make me happy to see the improvements" Jon's selfish heart skips a few beats at the chance of spending more time with the Wolf Queen. "If you need my help with anything , I will do my best to make it so"

After the meal is finished, Jon finds himself in one of the old hallways that is half finished, that's where the library used to stay and the Maesters chambers, he had spent most of his time there and out in the courtyard. The hallway itself is still a dead end but it was the closest one to the Great hall, so they might as well have started there. His thoughts circle back to the crypts, he would rather not visit them after the dream he had, it was still too fresh in his mind, at times he thinks himself still hearing the deep voices of the old Kings and Lords of the castle. "It seems to be coming along , it will be a fine tower once it is done" When the tower was done and the Maester had his place again , her children would go there to learn for hours on end, complain about having to memorise old Kings and do sums, oddly enough, none of those things bad bothered Jon, he wondered if that was in his blood too, not that he was much of a scholar , far from it but he had always been better than Robb, not that anyone ever admitted it.

Sansa gives him a small smile, trying not to let the anger take her, but it was difficult. Every time she got reminded about the fact that Jon had to leave, she got angry, especially when she heard how he felt. But she knew that if she comments on it, she will get angry, so she stays quiet, at least for now.
"i will always enjoy your company Jon, you are family" she started, wishing he could be family in another way as well, but she couldn't say that, not that it mattered, she enjoyed his company, just as much. "And it really makes it feel less empty. Once this halls were full of people, made for it, so being here alone is, lonely"

It was such a weak statement, but a logical one. The hall wasn't built for one person, it was built for a large family, and before everything happened, they were a large family. The hall used to be full of sounds. Her and Arya often arguing about something, and her mother trying to solve it. Her father talking with Robb and Theon about something, Brann trying to follow, and Rickon sitting in their mothers lap. She wanted to remember Jon there as well, but she wasn't sure, back then she never payed him any attention, so if he was there, she couldn't remember. But now, she was alone and her movements echoed throughout the room, and she had come to hate it, wishing someone else was there with her.

Sansa is drawn from her thoughts when the servant girl talks, and she smiles at Jon's answer. He was always humble, some people would cling to their former titles, demand respect no matter what, but Jon wasn't that man. He deserved all the titles, but he didn't demanded them. Sansa loved that about him, how he was such a good man. She sighed for herself when she realised what she had thought, so she had went from liking to love in just a day or so, great. This didn't got better.

"That I am aware off" she gave him a small smile, knowing that some habits was almost impossible to break. "And yes, the beds here are more comfortable than most I have slept in, if I am honest. Or maybe it's just the feeling of home"
She never had a problem sleeping anywhere, but the feeling she got from sleeping in the castle was unlike any else, when she slept. But she knew she would have slept even less and worse if she was somewhere else.
"I am not sure if I am proud of it, maybe sentimental is a better word..." Sansa stopped for a second when she felt Jon's touch and she wished to reach out for his hand and hold it, just like yesterday, but she didn't, all she did was giving him a smile, seeing that was the proper thing to do "And I love them"

"He and Lady would have gotten along well then. She wasn't as load as the others" Sansa told him, knowing it maybe because she raised her like that. She wanted a Lady, one that fitted her personality back then, not a wild beast. But maybe a wild beast would have survived and been able to save her. Instead Lady rested in the crypt. "He has good taste, seeing lemon cakes are the best"
Ghost meets her eyes, hoping to get another one and she gives in, handing it to the wolf, who ones again took it from her hand.
"I would be more than happy to show you, so you can see what becomes of Winterfell. And your help is always welcomed, but hopefully it will not be needed, letting you relax" she gave him a sweet smile, glad he accepted so she could spend more time with him.

"It will, and the Maester will be pleased, as it is now, he isn't to happy with his room. He isn't complaining, being to polite, but he haven't adjusted to the cold, or that Winterfell isn't like the palaces in the south" she really wished she had a Maester that understood the North, it was ashame that Sam went south with Bran. Sansa continued towards another hall, leading towards the kitchen.
"I decided to add additional space to the kitchen, seeing the old one was outdated, and I have to admit that if it's something the south know how to do, is build a practical kitchen" she opened the doors to show him. The personal stopped for a second, wondering who dared to enter, and who they should scold, but seeing it was her, they bowed and she smiled towards them. "I am building a larger workplace over there, more ovens and a place to store meet, inside, no needing for them to walk out, and a small place to grown herbs, in here, again so they don't need to walk out"
She pointed out the changes for Jon, pleased with them herself. Hoping it would workout as she planned it. She nodded to the builders before they continued walking, she had more places she wished to show Jon, letting him know that their home would be restored and even better.

"I will do what I can to ease it" The warm , caring smile is still there on his lips as he makes eyecontact with Sansa, letting himself get lost in her sapphire eyes. His smile widens some at her response. "Aye, we are family, and always will be" 'No matter where I am' It wasn't necessary for Sansa to hear that but Jon wished that he could say it, be honest, he would rather not scare her, not seeing as how they've been very close this past year or more.

Jon takes the silence as an oppurtunity to have a look around the hall, it seemed far more empty than it ever had, even when they held the councils here with all the Lords it had not been too full, not how it used to be. People laughing and even someone singing, poor , he remembered that with a shadow of a smile. The glory days of the Wolves of Winterfell was gone, along with good and kind people but as said 'the wolves will come again' he truly believed it to be so but had fallen on Sansa, mayhaps Arya as well, should she return. He hoped that his sister was enjoying her adventures, whereever she may be. Who knows, in a few months time, Sansa could recive a raven from Storm's End that says that Arya is there, if anything just to have something forged.

Jon is still smiling as the girl leaves. "She remembers me, I had not expected it" He can't help but to admit. Jon had assumed he would be hated and scorned but that was not the case, most of the people here had not changed their behaviour towards him, some had even bowed, which he urged them not to, it would not be seen as a good thing. It's a bitter thought that they still love him, he didn't think himself worthy of such a thing, not since every woman he had loved, had died, he prayed that such a thing would not happen to Sansa, the North need their Queen. 'And I need her too'

"I'm certain that he will enjoy that. The North is a difficult place to get used to" Besides for that , he follows Sansa quietly like a ghost himself, taking in her radience from the occasional sunlight that streaks in and illuminates her firekissed hair.
"You're a Queen and a build master, the North is very fortunate" another jest but he couldn't help it, he was indeed impressed with what Sansa had accomplished in such a short amount of time. "A large kitchen is wise, they must be happier to fetch the herbs from here, a trek through the courtyard and deep snow can put anyone in a sour mood" He did remember running across the courtyard with Robb and sometimes even Theon when they were younger, but the snow was not so deep then, during the Northen summer. He missed those days of playing and stealing cakes from the kitchens. The Crypts had been restored as well, so he heard but Jon wasn't too keen to enter them again, not after the dream.

Another hour past until they were done with their tour, it felt good to see it again, to know that Sansa was here and cared, Jon wished that he did not have to return, that he could stay here and help her with antyhing she would need, as a good man should. But those reasons might be too selfish, because he wants to be near her, hold her , Gods help him , kiss her. Not that the old Gods cared about you wishing to wed your cousin, it was not uncommon, only with the Faith of the Seven , then it was not always alright, even less with wedding your sister like the Targaryens did. He stops next to her near the one of the towers, the sun has been shining today, like the Gods themselves want him to lose his common sense and takes the Wolf-Queen in his arms and kiss her until the white winds blow again. Her hair is radiant and cheeks a slight red hue, her nose as well, just the sight of it makes his heart flutter like he's a boy again. 'It's ridiculous, truly' he tries to calm himself and flexes his swordhand again, out of habit, his gaze lingers on her red nose and then drops of her pink lips, soft looking despite the cold air. 'A gift and curse from the Gods' that is what she must be, for him to fall for her so and being so far from his reach.

"You really are a good man Jon, and I am pleased to have you here, and a part of my family" Sansa gave him another smile, trying not to show to much excitement over hearing those words, hearing how Jon would try to make it easier for her. Since they had met at the wall a few years ago, she felt that Jon always tried to do that. He didn't always managed, but he tried and she appreciated that.

"Most remembers you Jon, and most still likes you. I think that most people are pleased to see you here, knowing that you are alive" she met his eyes, glad that her people hadn't forgotten Jon. It was true that her advisors had advised against Jon coming here, but it wasn't because they disliked him, no it was because they thought of the south and how they would react. Sansa thought about it as well, but she chose to take the consequences when Bran would contact her.

"I hope he will, I prefer to have a happy maester, seeing it makes life easier for everyone" she gives him a small smile, most maesters she had met, weren't pleasant to work with, not at all! Sansa turned towards Jon with a smile.
"I have many hidden talents" she teased before she turned towards the kitchen once more. "I hope they will be happier. My people have been through enough, and I do what I can to make their life easier, even if it's something small"

Sansa turns to Jon, feeling that he was looking at her. She didn't know why he looked at her, and first she worried that something was wrong, that he would say that he had enough, or that he didn't liked what she had done to their home. However, when she met his eyes, he said nothing, just looked at her and she wondered if she had something on her. She slowly tilted her head, unable to look away, feeling drawn to Jon. It would be so easy to step closer, so easy to hug him, take his hand, even kiss him. The two first she could, maybe give some excuse for, the third, would be impossible. She wondered why the world hated her so, hadn't she paid enough already? Did she also had to have feelings for the one person she couldn't have? She wished to turn away, yet she couldn't.

"Your highness" Sansa almost jumped when someone spoke to her "My Lord"
Sansa turned towards the guard, and nodded for him to come forward. She was unsure if she wished to curse him for interrupting, or thank him for it.
"Is something wrong?" she asked, seeing the guards rarely approached her, unless something happened.
"A smaller village was raded by bandits. The survivors fled here"
"Take me to them" she said at once, forgetting about Jon in that moment, as the guard turned around to show her the way.

When she entered the great hall, it was around twenty people there, waiting for her.
"I apologise for keeping you waiting" she stated, walking towards their leader.
"Your grace" an older, wounded man bowed to her.
"Get the maester in here, and supplies to treat their wounds. Also inform the kitchen to make enough food to them all" the guard nodded at once and left her.
"Thank you" the man took her hands, and for a second she got stiff and he got afraid that he had done something wrong, but she took his hands as well, calming him.
"You are safe here" she looked at them all, before turning towards the man "Tell me what happened"
They sat down next to each other, and she listened as the old man started talking.

"It's good to hear you say that" Jon easily mirrors her smile, with a warmth that is always there. He has always tried to do what he thinks is best, hoping that it would be enough, sometimes it had and sometimes not. He runs a hand through his thick dark hair, pushing the locks out of his face as Sansa speaks.

"I did not expect a mostly warm welcome from anyone here." 'Not even from you. Why would you? I left you again , I didn't fight to stay , I took the punishment and left you without your pack' It's no time to wallow in pity but at times the thoughts just came, he was disappointed and almost disgusted with himself for not fighting to stay with her, even if he knew that she was safe, that 'hopefully' Bran wouldn't let anything happen to his sister. Some nights he can still see Sansas upset face from the docks in King's Landing and it feels like he's been stabbed in the heart again. All of it was to protect his people, protect the North.

"A grumpy Maester is little help" He adds , smiling at her again. "Aye you do, as I said , the people are lucky to have someone who cares so deeply for them" It is true but it could say it a hundred times over, again and again if she doubted it. Sansa shone with confidence but he had seen her softer side , her vulnerability last night, he wondered if none of them had changed as much as they thought. They're stronger, yes but some parts of them always stay the same, broken and always reaching for something that they will never have. He had been given a command, a court, a people and a crown, he had wanted none of that, but shouldered it the best he could. Now the one thing he does want, is out of his reach.

His eyes as still fixed at her , unable to look away, the wind blows and lifts some locks of her hair towards him. 'Even the wind is taunting me' he thinks. With their closeness it would be too easy and quick to reach out and take that lock between his fingers and tuck it behind her ear. A far too familiar gesture, he's aware of that but every part of his body wishes to do so, to move closer, åput his lips to hers and never move away. It would not be a good idea, she would think him mad and perverse, a risk he could not take.

Jon turns to look at the guard, the disappointment towards the man for ruining the moment luckily doesn't show on his face. He nods as a greeting to the guard as he man as at least polite. The quick change in Sansa's tone is almost unnerving how quick she could change from her sweet , soft voice to the harsh tone of a Queens commanding voice. He follows the Wolf-Queen and the guard as on instinct to the great hall, looking over the crowd. They look tired and some are injured but the women and children seem well enough. He takes a seat next to Sansa without thinking about it, forgetting his place but he is too concerned with the man's story to remember that is place is not next to the flame haired queen. The man continues to speak and explain the villages troubles to Sansa as some women and children sob further back, reliving the horrors from the man's story.

"We did not know what else to do, Your Grace. They took our supplies , we have barely anything left. What he could carry we brought here, in - in hope for protection" He old man coughs, his worn fur and wool cloak is tattered and stained with blood, he has a decently made steel sword on his hip. the hilt is worn and well used, how often did these raiders come? Jon listens to the man , taking every description of the attackers into his mind, making certain to rememeber them. He knows that he has no rights here, as no matter what Sansa says, he is more a Wildling now that not, but in Jon's mind , these are still his people and the urge to protect and seek justice comes naturally. He doubts that Sansa will be the one to hunt the men down or even execute them herself, he understands why she would rather not do such a thing. Even if Jon didn't like killing , he was good at it, at bringing justice, but he never enjoyed the act itself, it is ironic that he seems to be all of the best part of his true father and a his uncle but none of that did them any good nor him.

Sansa listened to the man as he told the story, and she was glad that she had learned to control her emotions. She still felt anger from what the man told her, but she didn't let it show. If you let the emotion take over, they would rule you, and emotions didn't make for a good leader. You still need them, but not to be showed.

She felt Jon by her side, and that made her feel better, reminding him of when they ruled together. Everything had seemed so much easier despite the threat. This was an easier enemy to defeat, they could die. Yet she knew that it would be a challenge for her men to find the bandits, especially since she could spare so few. She had yet to build a army large enough to hinder things like this. Soldiers that patrolled the country side, guarded the cities and everything, but she was getting there, not as fast as she had hoped or needed, but she couldn't rush it.

When the men was done he became silent and she gave him a warm smile.
"You are safe here, and free to stay here, or the village if that's more to your liking. I will send out patrols to find the men who did this" she explained and the man felt relived. "When they had been done with you can chose if you wish to return to your home, which we then will help rebuild, or if you wish to stay here"
"Thank you your grace" the man smiled widely at her as he went over to the others, only to soon have a young girl coming up to her, doll in hand.

"This is for you" Sansa looked at the doll then at the girl.
"Wouldn't she much rather stay with you, and keep you safe?"
"She has, all the way here. She stayed with me when my parents died, but now it's your turn to be guarded by her" the girl smiled and Sansa smiled back accepting it.
"I am sure she will keep me very safe, thank you. If you wish to come and visit her, just let me know" the girl nodded as she slowly walked away, looking at the doll, and Sansa knew that the girl would be back for her, in a few days. Sansa had been the same when she tried to leave her first doll. She had managed for a few days, before she asked her mother to give it back, which she did with a smile.
"Take this to my room, and keep it safe" Sansa ordered one of the guards who gave her a questioning look, seeing the doll but did as he was told, and Sansa started walking to her office.
"If you wish, you are welcome to join us for the meeting" she told Jon, knowing he cared for this country as much as she did, and he was an excellent soldier.

The office still had a large map of the continent and her country. She called for her counsel as she walked there, needing to deal with this before it became an alarming problem. She stepped in soon followed by the others, and she brought them up to speed and they soon started talk about the options.

Jons eyes move carefully between the man and Sansa, listening to every word. He notices the tension in her shoulders as the man continues to describe the events, the light sound of skirts rustling , she seems well composed and regal but the impact of the mans words are there, that much he knows.

The small group seem to chatter amongst themselves, with gentle and worried smiles on their lips and hope in their eyes. An elderly woman turns her gaze towards Sansa, the gratitude is evident on her face. She is covered in blood, most likely from helping the injured before they had to flee for their lives. As Jon witnesses the exchange between Sansa and the little girl he is reminded again of how kind Sansa is, how much the people love her. The burden of ruling is not an easy one but she has been learning from the best and worst rulers so she must have taken a good deal of it to heart. These things happened all through out the realm now, even with Bran doing what he could, there was not enough men to help each Kingdom. The Others and dragonfires have decimated the population, it was a vile thing to witness.

"Thank you, Your Grace" The words sound too eager in his ears. A mere moment after Sansa as risen from her seat, Jon follows , mirroring her movements, he dutifully follows the Northern Queen through the halls to her solar. Ned Starks old one. The Direwolf tapestries were the first thing one is meant to see when entering the room, never to forget who rules this castle and Kingdom.

Jon scans the map, locating the small area where the raid happened and there there will most likely be many more. "Your Grace, if I may take some men, I can locate them and deal the justice you command" Most of the Lords seem to be in agreement with Jon, letting the Stark banner fly as they deal the Queens justice. Jon keeps his eyes on her, the Queen with hearttree leaves on her sleeves and fire in her hair and heart. "

Sansa turned towards Jon managing to hinder her surprise. She knew that Jon didn't took a liking to killing, and this mission would mean that the men had to be killed. And he was also her guest, not here to help her with what was a problem of the crown. She hoped that he knew that this wasn't anything expected by him, that he had to do this for some reason. But despite her wonders she was also touched by his words. Them showed how much he cared about for her people, for their people. Even if Jon lived beyond the wall, this was still his people! And it showed when the Lords agreed with him, something they would never do with a stranger. It showed how much they still respected him and she almost smiled towards them, but hindered herself knowing it would be looked up on as strange. She met Jon's eyes, and she had to remind herself that they weren't alone and that she couldn't let herself drown in them.

"This isn't something I can ask of you Jon, you are my guest" she started and noticed how some of them men seemed disappointed hoping to ride out with Jon snow again.
"My queen" Sansa turned towards Lord Lake and nodded for him to continue "As your guest, wouldn't it be seen as rude of you to reject such a request from the former King of the North. I say this without the highest of respects"
Sansa couldn't do anything else than smile towards the man, not seeing his words as disrespectful.
"Your words speaks truth Lord Lake, but as the former King of the North, Jon has no obligation to missions as these" the man nodded and Sansa thought it over. She had nothing against the idea of Jon aiding her men, far from it, trusting him to do so with explicit result. Yet accepting this meant that Jon would leave her side for who know how long? She wasn't sure of how long he would be here over all, and sending him on a mission may shorten that time. But Jon had made the offer out of free will, and she didn't wish to refuse his wish.

Sansa turned towards Jon again, with a smile different from the one she had just given Lord Lake.
"If you wish to take up this mission, I will not deny you that request" she saw that some of the Lord's nodded very pleased. "Just know that this isn't something any of us expect from you, seeing this isn't an obligation"
Once again the men nodded, but Sansa didn't take her eyes of Jon.
"What would you need for this mission?" she asked, willing to offer him anything that she could.

Jon knows that it's foolish to voluteer for such a mission but these were still his people, people he had sword to protect, as a man of the Nights Watch , as their fomer King and as a Northerner. What difference would it make if Sansa only had to sacrifice him instead of a good leader that Sansa needs to stay at Winterfell, good men were few nowadays. He can't help but to glance at the Queen again, how her posture is strong and tall like ironwood and how her fingers gently curve while resting on the table nor the finely embroided weirdwood leaves on her sleeves, breaking off the paleness of her skin. Once again he found himself distracted, mayhaps he's going soft in the head those thoughts were clearly not helping at the moment.

His focus turns to the lords around the table, a small smile forms as he hears the trust in their voices the recognition that they still thought him a good man worthy of their trust. "I thank you for your trust, My Lords , Your Grace." the warm but somber response is something that he remembers all too well, it feels strange to hear such things again. A humble bow of his head is directed towards Sansa, the Norths dear Wolf Queen ,upon hearing Sansa agree to his request. "Thank you , Your Grace but they are still my people, I will help without hesitation" It was true, he didn't hesitate to do the right thing, pity that the right thing always moved him away from the people he cared for. Jon has barely been here a few days before he's off again, leaving Sansa alone in Winterfell again without her pack, it cuts to the core. The lords agree to the former Kings words.

"Thank you for granting me this request Your Grace." he says as dark eyes meet blue, as Sansa's voice rings. A few well trained men and some supplies, I believe that would suffice, Your Grace." Jon didn't believe that he needed much more, some good men could do well enough and with Ghost and some hounds they might be able to track the men down quick enough. Lord Lake steps up and offers some of his own men. "I have some men to spare, good fighters, we will happily aid you, Your Grace" He looks at Sansa, hoping she will accept. Jon absent mindedly scratches Ghost behind the ear, listening to Lord Lake.

As the meeting comes to an end, Jon has already planned out the route and percausions that the men must take, especially since some of the raiders seemed to have accuired armor for themselves and decent steel words. The Lords bow and leave the room on their Queens command, only Jon remains, hands clasped infront and his posture becomes more relaxed once they are alone. "Sansa, thank you for your trust, it means very much to me" the honest tone in his voice is unmistakable, he can only pray that his other feelings are not as obivous, that would be disasterous. Ghost glances up from his spot under the table, watching the pair, Jon thinks he sees something flash in the wolfs eyes but it must just be his imagination.

Sansa knew that Jon would help without hesitation, that was how he was, something she admired him for. She was far from the same. She would help her people in anyway she could, but not without hesitation, or rather caution knowing she couldn't throw herself into anything. She glanced at Jon because just as she admired him she thought he was a fool. That came out of fear of losing him, seeing she already been near to do that a few times. His honor and willing to help anyone also put him in trouble, he was to noble to go to lengths others did, like Ramsey.

Sansa wondered if this was how her mother felt when her father disappeared, a fear of losing him, something that wasn't uncalled for, seeing what happened to her father. Sansa felt like she had no right to feel as worried as her mother had been, being her husband. Jon was only her brother. Meaning she had the right to worry, but as a sister not as a wife or lover. And she knew she would worry about him, even if she would give him her best men, something could always go wrong, no matter how good you or your men are. But she kept her worries to herself as she listened to Jon's request. She nodded towards Lord Lake, pleased that he offered some men and Sansa wished she had more men to give Jon, but she couldn't spare them for such a mission.
"I appreciate your offer Lord Lake, and gladly accept your aid towards the country" she answered and the man gave her a smile as they started planning. She listened and observed, willing to learn more about things like this than she knew. She had started to learn war strategy, being needed from her, but for now she mostly left the planning to her trusted men, only pointing out things where she saw flaws or wondered about things.

Sansa turned towards Jon when her men left the room. She gave him a small smile, not fully able to hide her worry.
"You always have my trust Jon" she started, meeting his dark eyes. For a second she thought his voice was different, that she heard something in it, something she longed for, but in the next second she pushed that thought away. If she would act every time she thought she saw or heard something, Jon would have cursed her hundred of times already, because no normal person felt like that towards a man she called brother. "I am just worried Jon. Even if it's a simpel mission and I trust in your skill and strength, so many things can go wrong, and I don't want to lose anyone else close to me"
She really hoped she didn't sound to clingy, to overprotective and to desperate. She would never hinder Jon to go, but she felt like she needed to share her worry, otherwise it would eat her up even more after he left.