[Privat] Game of Thrones - Winter Love

The moment Sansa slowed her pace to walk next to him, his lungs stopped working, all Jon could do was focus on breathing, smelling her sweet scent and perfume, of woodsmoke and fragrant soap. Most of their lives she had always been a Princess, so loved and kind 'most of the time' he thinks bitterly, it's quickly cast aside. Jon cracked a small smile at the familiarity of it all, them walking side by side, it was comforting. He resists the urge to take her hand, cover it in his larger one, rub the soft skin under his calloused hands, take her in his arms and embrace her, lifting her from the floor and burying his face in her soft red hair.

As they finally reached his chambers, his lungs were full of her, he had breathed so deeply that he felt dizzy, Gods help him how his body behaves and betrays him when she is near. "They only wish to keep you safe, My Queen" How many times has he said those two words? too many times, time and time again to The Dragon Queen Daenerys and now to Sansa. Had he loved Daenaerys? in some ways yes he can not deny that, but there was no feeling of home, just fire and blood that bonded them. He needed to make the Mother of Dragons listen to him, to help, what would they have done without the dragons? She had a good heart yes, but so did Sansa. Sansa who had visibly been mistrusting of Daenerys the moment she arrived, for good reason. That Queen was blood but never home, Winterfell was home and Sansa.

Jon's gaze quickly shifts towards Sansa's lips as he hears the sigh, absentmindedly he purses his lips and calms himself. "A warm bath sounds like a very good idea. I won't keep you waiting, Your Grace" a bow of his head and his eyes are averted to the ground again. He dares to look up when she begins to walk away, red hair swaying slightly as she walks away from him. With a quick motion he is in the room, out of sight from the suspicious guards, Ghost is of course by his side, the Direwolfs wounds have healed nicely, missing an ear but alive and that is something Jon can be thankful for. With a deep sigh he begins to shed his cloak and all the layers of clothing he is wearing, hoping they will dry someone near the fire, he didn't bring much else with him. The decent into the bath is almost painful as the hot water meets cold and skin, he sinks down and leans his head back, looking towards the bed, a luxurious feather bed with enough furs to keep a giant warm. Jon scubs and washes , his hair as well, one shouldn't go and dine filthy with the Queen.

By the time Jon is finished with his bath and dried off, his clothes seem to be in a much better condition, warm and dry again. He dons on the layers once again and wringing the as much water from his unruly hair as is possible before allowing it to dry for a moment. He can hear the guards outside talking, not that any words are understood but the tone is. With determined steps he heads for the door and opens it. "Take me to see the Queen" It sounded far more of a command, he sounded as the King of the North again, which was not intentional , mayhaps it was just his voice. The guards only scoff and lead him to Sansa's chambers, their looks do not escape him, mistrust and malice. Jon knocks on the door "Your Grace?" he await a reply , arms at his side. When a voice calls him from the other side of the door, he opens it and steps inside. "I pray that I did not keep you waiting too long, Your Grace" a formal courtesy, yes but it is needed. 'They are not brother and sister anymore, not even that but cousins' so Jon keeps reminding himself as if it would make him feel any less guilty of his actions.

Sansa looked up from the documents when Jon entered, and it seemed like the bath had given him some coulors back. She know how wonderful it could be, sink into a warm bath after a cold day out. she had always loved doing that as a child, especially when her mother had sung for her, as she washed her hair. She wouldn't lie, sometimes she missed her parents, especially her mother, but nothing would bring them back. However, she could remember them fondly, and honor them in anyway she could. She liked to think that she would have done both her parents and Rob proud, seeing who she became and how she now ruled the North.

"My Queen?" the guards voice took her back and she looked at the man.
"I will be alright, spend the evening as you pleases" she informed them, and the nodded, a bit unsure, but obeyed none the less. She waited for the door to close before she turned towards Jon.
"Finally you can stop calling me 'Your Grace', it sounds wrong, hearing you say it" she said with a smile towards the man. "And you did no such thing as keep me waiting, I kept myself busy with work"
She stood up, ans started to tug away all the documents, not wishing to see them more during the evening, or for them to get damaged.

"I brought up some food, unsure of what you desired, its a bit of everything" she excused herself, seeing it was more food than normally, but she didn't wish to be disrupted during the evening for such a silly thing as food. As she tugged away the last documents she turned towards Jon once more, and she couldn't stop smiling, having him there, it was almost ridicules. She was to old to behave like a silly girl! She walked over to the table, signing for Jon to follow her as she sat down. She really wished that everything would go back to how it was before everything happened, especially everything before Dany. She didn't blame Jon, far from it, especially since he had freed them from her, she just wished everything hadn't happened. That Dany had stayed where she came from, but she also knew that without her, they wouldn't have beaten the Night King. However, that didn't change her opinion, making her like the woman more. But Dany was the last person she wished to think about now, when Jon was there.

"I am really pleased to see you again, especially this well. When I think about beyond the wall, I always imagine the worst" she confessed, giving him a small smile as she placed a slice of pie on her plate. Before she felt the tears "I am so sorry that you had to return there! You didn't deserved that, you deserved so much better! Bran shouldn't have done that! I should have fought more for you! All of them should have fought more for you! You saved us all from her, and this is what they do to you! I am so sorry Jon"
She hadn't been able to hinder herself, she wished to apologise, but with a bit more dignity, less anger and sorrow that she now had, but thinking about it really mad her emotional. She took a deep breath, looking at Jon, before she laughed.
"You are here for less than ten minutes and I have already lost my dignity and Queenly ways. I apologise for my behavior, even if I meant all the words"

With the sound of the door closing, Jon visibly relaxes, happy that he can speak freely with Sansa now. The smell of the food makes him salivate, whatever herbs the cook used is something he had not eaten for months, the Freefolk don't usually have access to herb at all, save from bark, Jon's never quite gotten used to the taste. Her sweet smile catches him too and he can't help but to smile, she had a habit of bringing out the best and worst in him. 'Gods help me, that smile will be the death of me' he thinks, noticing how her eyes gleam in the fire and from joy. Jon hands he a forgotten document. "You forgot this. It could be important" that is something he did not miss, all of the bloody writing all day.

Jon notices her being upset and instantly reaches for Sansa's hand, trying to calm her. It breaks his heart to see her this way and judging from her expression, it shows on his face. He squeezes her hand before he speaks. "It felt like too long since I've been here Y - Sansa." a warm smile crosses his lips, the touch of her skin under his is enough to send his foolish mind into a frenzy for a moment but it is somehow , pushed down. "I'm doing alright beyond the Wall, they are good people and I fear that Tormund would be lost without me, now" he smiles, attempting a jest to ease her heart, he is uncertain if it is in a purely brotherly way, the voice in his mind says it is not. "You said not to call you Queen in there, by that definition, you should be allowed to be less Queenly and more like Sansa, should you not?"

His thumb barely moves against Sansa's skin but he's relishing every second of it, He has missed her too much. For a moment he can hear Catelyn Starks voice calling his name as if it was poison, Sansa used to do the same, scowling at him just like her mother. The years have not been kind to either of them but at least they have eachother, a pack, which will hopefully get them through the winter, after all, Sansa is a much Stark as he is in all but name. He's been many things, bastard, Lord Commander, a King and a Prince, none of those these made him happy.

"Shall we eat?" he asks right before his stomach growls and betrays him. A chuckle escapes his lips and he reaches over to fill their cups with Ale. Only a few years ago, he would sit with Robb and Theon , drinking and laughing. More recently with Tormund and the Northmen , that did not end well either, he remembers Danys glares and her look of utter loneliness. 'I only have fear here' that is what she said, and she was not wrong. Jon had earned their love, she had not. Maybe she had not even earned his, but as always it needed to be done , folly and wounds can make someone mad. He bent the need to save his family, his sisters, even if it means even away for ten years from Winterfell, seeing crows fly overhead to watch him. In many eyes he hadn't done anything wrong, but it still did not feel right. Jon picks up his cup and raises it. "To home" a look into those sapphire eyes and he is lost, the smile on her pink lips could drive him mad if he was not careful. At Sansa's approval , he eats, enjoying the meal, warm savory meal with good bread and ale. "I've missed ale, fermented goat's milk takes some getting used to" he smiles as he takes another sip, letting his eyes wander again , only for a moment.

Sansa accepted the document Jon handed her with a thanks, she tried to keep track of all the documents, normally doing a good job, but she always feared that she had forgotten one. And if she did, who knew what could be written on that one, and what the lose of it could lead to! In worst case she could say that it had been lost due to weather or something similar, seeing the north wasn't the sunny south. But if it happened to often people would doubt her, and she really didn't wish that it came to that. Luckily she was organized, something her mother had thought her, and she had thought her well. Telling her at a young age, that a Lady needed to be organized to run the house, the staff and take care of the children, because even with help, all of those things were her responsibility. She didn't had any kids, and at the moment those plans were far away. Or maybe she could see all her people as her children, some rulers did, but she wasn't one of them. They were her responsibility, but not her children!

She met Jon's eyes when she felt his safe hand, upon hers. As magic was involved, she calmed down at once, feeling safe, happy and calm. It was dangerous, seeing how easily he affected her, and with how little, but she couldn't help it! She knew she shouldn't feel like this, she should be able to collect herself, and she knew that people wouldn't look blindly up on anything they did. Even holding hands would upset some people, she hoped that no one would ever know!
"Isn't it silly? It feels longer than it has been, almost like an eternity since you were here" she smiled, before she nodded. "Well glad you managed to call me Sansa, because if you would continue call me 'Your Grace' in here, I am pretty sure I would...not sure what, do something to school you"
she said it with a laugh, even if she meant it, she would hate for Jon to call her 'Your Grace' when they were alone, she didn't want to be the Queen when she was with Jon, no she wanted to be Sansa, only Sansa!
"And you are right, Tormund and the others are good men, a bit rough, but good men, and they will always be welcomed here, if they ever wish for it" she informed him, meaning it. she knew that the free folks wanted to be free, wandering the world, but if they ever wished to come here, for any reason, she wouldn't deny them that. "So you went from the man, that knew nothing, to see to that they would be lost without you" she smiled, remembering the stories Tormund had told her about Ygritte, and Sansa had thought of her as a interesting woman, and she had been a far bettar match for Jon than Dany was. And compared to Dany, Sansa wasn't jealous of Ygritte, maybe because it was in the past, or maybe because the wildling seemed more reasonable than the Dragon Queen.
"You are right, but it doesn't mean I need to act without dignity and as a child, not being able to control my emotions" she confessed. She had learned a long time ago that your emotions got you nowhere, showing them was only a weakness, and even if Jon wouldn't use it against her, she preferred not to slip up, creating a habit out of it.

For a second she is lost in Jon's eyes, his careful and gentle touch, in a way no one else ever had touched her. It was almost laughable how all the people she had been surrounded by, had treated her with cruelty, and the man she had been horrible to as a kid, showed her so much kindness, it was almost ironic. She reminded herself that she shouldn't get lost in the touch, not long for it or enjoy it as much as she did, yet she did nothing to move away.

She could have stayed like that forever, if Jon hadn't spoken. She had forgotten about the food, and how hungry Jon must have been. He had travled far, and she should have remembered that he most likely was hungry, but instead she had acted like a silly girl once more, and she took a deep breath, before taking back her hand, excusing herself that she needed that one to eat. It wasn't a total lie, but she could have eaten with only one hand, but she needed to remind herself that it wasn't a good idea. Jon shouldn't really be here, yet she was happier than ever that she was. She was torned between her feelings and her duty and for the first time she hated it. Most likely because she had never been torned like this before!
"To home, and to family" Sansa added, lifting her cup as well, sipping from the wine, preferring that over ale, but she had brought up both, to please Jon. As he continued talking, she laughed once more.

"I could never get used to live beyond the wall. I would be lost, and I am to used to what I have here. Even in the darkest moment in my life, have I needed to drink fermented goat milk" it was true, even when she had been prisoned, on the run, or hiding, she had done it in more luxury than most people ever experience. She hated to admit it, traveling to the wall to find Jon, was one of the hardest thing she had ever done, mostly because she was so unused to the wild. She could never survive what Jon or Arya, or even Bran had survived, her skill set didn't include that knowledge. But on the other hand she was sure none of her siblings really would survive in the environments she could, seeing how ill they handled the court life, not playing the game like she did. They all had different skills, and had learned different things, everything the hard way.

"Aye, to family" Jon listens carefully when she speaks, taking in every change of tone and every minute expression on Sansa's face as he eats, happy to be around her again. The taste of herbs lays heavy on his tongue, for a moment, too long of a moment, he wonders what her lips would taste like on his. He pushes it out, hoping that the ghosts of his ancestors won't haunt him for his thoughts. Not that wedding cousins has been frowned upon, his grandparents on his mothers side had been cousins and on his fathers , siblings, so could it be in his blood? As it was now, he and Sansa were the only one of Stark blood left in the North, would anyone blame him for his feelings and not wanting his house to die, since it seemed that Arya does not think of such things and Bran, well Jon doubts that Bran cares of such things at all anymore, not that the boy ever had a chance to. While Jon has had plenty of time to think, first with Ygritte and, just living in a cave somewhere with her with not a care in the world. The second time with Sansa before Dany came into their lives before he went to Dragonstone and bent the knee to the Dragon Queen. A third time with Dany, he wondered if they had a union, would she be as caring to her true children as she were with her Dragons? Somehow he thought not, children do not breathe fire and instill fear in the hearts on people. And now once more with Sansa, he has a had plenty of time to think in the beginning of his exile , unfortunately he had a quite some time left.

"The Freefolk have managed a long time without me and will do well long after I am gone." Jon says , half smiling into his cup, knowing that it is the truth, he may have brought them together but as it stands now, he doesn't have any usefulness anymore, not beyond 'looking pretty' as Tormund says. He's known the red haired man for years and he is one of Jon's closest friends and what a good friend he is. Too many people have died because they believed in him , that was not what he wanted. 'I wanted peace ..peace and quiet' he muses but quickly looks up from his meal to meet Sansa's eyes and her soft, smiling face, he hopes that he is the only one who makes her smile like that.

"You were more than apt at the life in court, you did well in places most of us did not. I went south and nearly lost my life. You were right I shouldn't have gone but it was needed. The North is free and you are well, that is all I could ask for" a soft smile graces his lips, it was praise, he could never live there in the Southern courts, with all those snakes, Gods, he barely survived it in the North , had it not been for Sansa and her experiences, mayhaps Tyrion as well to a part. He had usually gotten along with the man, who had also been Sansa's husband, unconsummated, thankfully but her husband non the less. Jon was glad that he treated her well when no one else did not. "But who knows" he says between bites. "You might come to enjoy the free life if you tried it" he chuckles knowing it to be more of a jest than anything else.


Another long drink of ale and Jon feels content, in a place he calls home, with good food and ale in his belly, sitting across from the woman he loves. 'No no, I love her yes but not in such a way, it would be disgraceful and could damage her reputation' he did not what that, he only wants Sansa to be happy and safe. His body and mind betrays him as he urges to reach for her hand again, as it so delicately grips her cup of wine. He could, Sansa did not pull away the last time but what he would give to bury his face in those soft red locks again as he did when he left for the Wall. It nearly broke him, he had half a mind to ask Bran to revoke the sentence of exile, allow him to travel to Winterfell and stay here, keep Sansa safe as there was no one else. Even Brienne had abandoned her. How could Sansa not hate him? Jon would not blame her if she did, even Arya left her, their pack was scattered, something that should not ever have happened. Would that he could, Jon would make it right someday.

The word family lingers on her mind. They were family, raised somewhat as siblings, yet she didn't really saw Jon as a brother. She saw him as her family, just not like a brother. Rob had been her brother, Rickon as well, and Bran was, but she didn't saw Jon as one of them. Maybe because she saw something else in Jon, felt something else for the man at her side now. Maybe she didn't wish to think of her as a brother. Well they were actually cousins, not siblings, but still raised as siblings. She could see why her father never told them the truth, for Jon's safety, but she felt like Jon's life would have been easier if her father had told someone, at least her mother. If she had know she hadn't treated Jon like she did, and Sansa had never started. But it wasn't helpful, thinking of what could have been. Both of them were here, they were family, even if she couldn't say in which way. Jon would always be a part of her family, and she was glad that he was, glad that he no longer was a bastard. No he had two powerful name to use, if he wished for. She preferred the Stark name, but she didn't disliked Jon for being a Targaryen, he was most likely the only one of them she wouldn't dislike.

"A lot of people have managed without someone, and will manage when they are gone, doesn't mean their life can't be better, with that one by their side" A lot of rulers had come and gone, some would have been better if they never existed, like Jon's grandfather, but without him, there would be no Jon. And some people was taken from the world to soon, like her family. They had all played the game and lost, didn't mean she missed them, just cursed them for the misstakes they made. But the world would have been a better place with more people like her father and Jon in it, making peoples life better. People do manage without her father here, doesn't mean he didn't made peoples life better. Before everything came to what it did, the North was a good place, ruled by Ned Stark. He would always be a loved and remembered man, just like the rest of her family, at least as long as they were alive. She knew it was up to her to continue that line. Bran could never get any children, Arya, maybe but she doubted her sister was interested, and Jon. Well even if Jon would get children, it would be beyond the wall, and they would never have a claim to the throne. She hated that thought, knowing she needed to bear children, for her family to live on. She wanted children, without a doubt, but knowing that she must put pressure on her, what if she can't? She stopped that thought at once, not wishing to think about that now! Not with Jon there! Especially seeing that having children would mean that she had to be with someone else.

"I was a naïve girl, far from prepared what the south would throw my way. I lived through it because I was a woman, not a threat, and the key to the North. But I learned, despite being awful people, both Cersie and Little Finger thought me what father and mother never could, together with Joffrey and Ramsey" she smiled an unhappy smile, only for a second, thinking about the four of them. The people that changed her life the most, and the ones she had learned from the most. She had learned from Tyrion as well, but he wasn't like any of them, and he rarely wished to think about him, together with the others.
"Starks don't do well in the south, and I did warn you, knowing what the south bare! I am just pleased to see you back here, alive, fearing you would end up as so many others in our family." she took a sip of her wine, before she gave him a grateful smile "We have so much to thank you for, I have so much to thank you for. Nothing would have been possible without you!"

Sansa couldn't hinder a laugh.
"I may been adapting to most of the places I visit, and I am a Northern Woman, but I am not made by the same things as the free folk. Those women are impressive, and things I will never be" she said with a smile. She was impressed by how much those women could handel, and how though they were, knowing she could never. She was to spoiled for that, to used to her ways, and just finding food, and hunting would be an impossible task for her. She would die within days, unless someone took care of her, and she didn't wish to be such a burden on someone. But the dream of living free, once again came to her, only for a second before she repressed it. She gives Jon another smile, before she takes another piece of the pie.

"We all have our strengths, your is suviving in the south, someting many of us can not do." He chuckles. "you might make a good Spearwife, if you practice" Jon smiles into his horn of ale, enjoying the sound of her laugh. Their family did not fare well in the South, burned and beheaded, a horrid fate, one that he is to have avoided but he did come close between dragonfire and Unsullied. Supposedly , Grey Worm had gone made from loosing that woman, Missandei, if he remembers correctly. A kind woman but loyal to Dany before the turn, she didn't have to see the city and children burn. His lips form a tight line at the thought, remembering once more the stench of charred flesh. He takes another piece of the meat, eating it slowly, glacing at Sansa's face now and again. He didn't want to admit it but he would be jealous of the man who weds her, he can only hope that he treats her well.

A few fine morsels of meat go to Ghost, who's certainly earned it , Jon smiles when he sees how pleased the Direwolf seems. They're far more alike than would seem, his siblings are gone and his mother, Nymeria, Arya Direwolf is presumed to still be alive, if one is to believe Arya and he always does, She-wolves seem to be smarter. They know how to act and lie, Jon does not even if doing the honorable thing can get you killed. The moment the pack split all of those years ago it went to hell, to the Seven Hells and back, hopefully it is done now, they're safe. He had wondered if Sansa had taken a husband yet, or a consort but neither of those were true, thankfully. He hopes to at least meet the man and judge him, if need be. His father must want him to protect Sansa, he is all she has left, he did not wish for Ned Stark's ghost to haunt him because he couldn't do his duty to his family. Targaryen blood or no, he is of Stark blood as well, of the First men, that means that he is the only male heir of the Starks, seeing as how Bran would certainly not leave his throne in the South for a long time.'Long may he reign' Jon thought, scoffing in his mind.

"You could have done it without me, I remember almost being crushed before the Knights of the Vale came, and they came on your behalf, I owe you my life , Sansa. You took Winterfell back as much as I did. I'm certain that they are all proud of you, a true wolf" he smiles, hoping it will make her feel better. Seeing her in the dimming light of the fire , his heart stops. 'And they would kill me for thinking of you in such a way' a berating thought. He thinks for a moment how she would look in a wedding gown, under the Weirwood tree, Beautiful without a doubt. The Free folk do not have weddings, they just end up together, of course they have their own rules and such but nothing like South of the Wall. Jon doubts that she would want to wed again after so many poor experiences, even so, his mind wanders and the vision and thought of her could make his heart burst. 'Lady Stark's ghost could kill me tonight' he muses. She had hated him so much, if she only saw what he had become, he doubts that it would change anything but knowing his true parentage might change something at least.

Jon finishes his meal and downs another horn of ale, smiling. "Thank you for dinner, it was much better than I have gotten used to." a chuckle escapes his lips, it is the truth. A warm bath and good food has done him well. He leans back in his chair, thinking if he should ask the question, he doesn't want to anger Sansa, not at all. A light sigh is needed to steady himself. "Have you thought of suitors yet? there must be many asking for your hand." maybe it was a stupid question but it slipped past his lips too quickly. "I would want to meet him, as frightening as you are , a dark clad wilding and -"'Queenslyer' he thinks "might give a more truthful answer from the man" There's no malice in his eyes, he jokes but there is a serious tone to his voice. A sense of protection and love.

"It's because none of you learned to play the game" she teased before she laughed. "I am fairly sure that Arya would be better at that then me. She would have loved the life beyond the wall, if she hadn't left, so don't be surprise if she visits you, when she returns"
Sansa knew that Arya almost would demand equipment and a horse, that could take her to see Jon, if she didn't demand that he was brought here. But she would most likely prefer to go to Jon, not liking the court life, the only reason she may ask Jon to come there is so all of them could spend time together. Having Arya back would have been wonderful, but Sansa knew that the younger one wouldn't stay forever, when she returned, she was to adventures for that! Just like she knew that Jon had to return as well, and she would be alone. For a second she wished to be a spoiled brat once more, demanding that both of them stayed, kept her company! Words she would never utter, but still think, especially when it came to Jon. She had him so close, she could see him again, talk to him, feel safe, and long even more for him to touch her. Yes it would be so easy for her to demand that he stayed, ignoring the consequences it would lead to, but she knew that it was only a ridicules dream.

Sansa glances at the wolf, when Jon's feed him, making her miss Lady. She knew it was a childish thing to do, but she would never forgive Arya for that, seeing Lady had done nothing wrong. But the death of Lady thought her a lesson, even if it took her some time to understand it. However, it didn't made the longing for her own wolf less. As Ghost had sensed her sadness the large wolf walked over and she gave him a smile, patting him in a gentle way, something he seemed to appreciate.
"You have grown so much from the tiny pup you once were" she said to the wolf, remembering that he was the smallest of them, yet he most likely had turned out to be the biggest. It was hard to say, seeing that most of them had died before they had fully grown. Ghost placed his head in her lap and she continued stroking the wolf, thinking that she maybe should get a normal dog for company.

"They only came because Little Finger thought he could play me, but yes they came because I asked him" she told Jon. It was at that time she started learning how to really play the game, and how to use Little Finger, not fully, but you had to start somewhere. "But even if I brought the Knights of the Vale here, there present wouldn't have done a difference without you, and your men"
Little Fingers men would never have taken Winterfell for her, if Jon hadn't started, seeing that their leader wouldn't have wished to start a war with the Bolston's. He would most likely have taken her back to the Vale, if she had sought his help, and not Jon's, and who know what would have happened than. She would most likely have ended up wedding Petyr, something she didn't wish for.
"I would say we are pretty even, saving each others life. And I hope the are. I may not be the ruler they thought they would get, but I am doing my best, as the last wolf at Winterfell" she said the last words with sorrow, hating that her pack was divided, knowing that the lonely wolf never survived.

"It was nothing, but I will let the kitchen staff know that it was to your liking, seeing they were thrilled to make it for you" she confessed, knowing a lot of the people in the kitchen still liked Jon. She took another sip of the wine as she handed Ghost a piece of meat, and he carefully took it from her hand, and she patted him. She was about to give Ghost another piece when Jon's question stopped her, taking her by surprise. The wolf gently buffed at her and she gave him the meat, before she met Jon's eyes. She really didn't wished to speak with him about this, not wanting to think about who she may end up with, when all she wanted was the man in front of her. Impossible, but with him here, she could pretend, until he now asked.
"No. I have received more than letter, but I have the declined them all. I am far from interested in a third husband at the moment, and thankfully this is something no one is pressure me about" she stated with an empty look. "I think the moment I go down that road again, I want more than a political bond, someone I love, and someone my country can love"
She gives Jon a small smile, as she fell into silence once more.

"I never did learn it ,now. I'm good at fighting." Jon chuckles. He He was and is good at fighting but it's nothing he enjoys, ironic isn't it. Hearing stories from whom ever remembers, Rhaegar did not care much for fighting either, a skilled warrior, yes but he always seemed to find more joy in the High Harp and books. Hearing Sansa's words about Arya makes him smile. "I have no doubt that she would welcome the challenge" another laugh escapes his lips, a warm, loving one."If you asked I'm certain that we could meet here or nearby, Arya and I would listen, you are our Queen , after all" he says it with such warmth and care in his voice. Jon notices how affectionately she strokes Ghost's fur, he feels for her and his siblings, they'd lost their Direwolves early but Sansa was the first. He remembers hearing the story from his sisters of how Cersei had demanded that the wolf be killed and their honorable father had done the deed, but sent the wolf back to Winterfell, since it too was a Stark of sorts. That is a good man, not the fat fuck who cowers from the Lionesses demands because he can't stand her voice. Seeing her exihibit such love sends his thoughts into a frenzy, wondering how her delicate fingers would feel in his hair, would the touch alone remove his worries?

Jon smiles at her comment. "Aye, the runt of the litter. as Theon said" the memory of Theon Greyjoy is bittersweet, he was such a large part of their lives, he'd betrayed them and helped save both Sansa and Bran, that is something Jon loves the man for. What he did to Robb and their family before that it was difficult to forgive but he did, seeing a change in the man who had himself been through hell by Ramsay Bolton. "They came at the right time and helped us win." He remembers what happened, but beating Ramsays face to a pulp is all a haze, anger took over, had Sansa not stopped him, the man would have died there in the mud of the courtyard. But his fate was not a kind one , being ripped to shreds by his own dogs. A loyal animal would never do such a thing. Jon could never imagine Ghost harming him, not after everything that they've been through, the white Direwolf had been his one constant thing in this world.
Hearing her voice again, Jon looks up with a small smile. "Even sounds fair." he rubs his beard for a moment. "You know the game better than I, you advised me what to do during my time as King, there is no one better than you, Sansa." he reaches for Sansa's hand again, giving it a squeeze. "Last wolf or no, I am never far away and I'll return the moment you ask." his eyes show that he speaks true, the dark grey of his eyes almost seem to flicker in purple in the light of the fire, a remnant of a House now gone. Ghost stays with his head on Sansa's lap, offering comfort for something unspoken, something Jon was not able to do.


"I am glad to hear that not everyone dislikes me" He mimics her movements and drinks his ale. His question hangs in the air, now thick with regret on his part. He hadn't mean to upset her, it slipped out. His eyes meet hers and regret is evident on his face, he had not wished to cause her any harm in any way. "No" that one word sends a jolt down his spine, something akin to joy, he's happy that she's declined the men but seeing the sadness in her eyes makes the feeling fizzle away.

Jon has not let go of her hand, gently rubbing the soft skin once more, hoping that if he does it enough it will stay in his memory as he heads back to the Free folk and the icy winds. "I pray that you can marry for love, if you care for the man, I'm certain that the people will as well." Encouraging words , yes but he hoped that she would not hear the sadness in his voice at the though of someone else. Not that he wanted the crown again but he wanted her, he can't keep her safe when he's hundreds of leagues away. He remembers Sansa sitting at his side during court sessions, how natural it had felt, how she questioned his decisions like an equal, not sitting there like a meek woman. Of course, arguing infront of the Lords was not a good idea but behind closed doors they spoke and listened to eachother, so unlike anything he had with Dany. Mayhaps the Free folk were right, the ones that are Kissed by Fire are the lucky ones, the strong.

"Yes you are, something I am far from skilled in. I would barely be able to use a knife, if it was needed" Sansa confessed, being able to use a knife was a skill she should learn, one that was useful. However, any other fighting skill, was something she never would be able to learn, she knew that. She didn't had the time or the interest to do so. "I am fairly sure she welcomes any challenge, for better and worse"
Sansa knew that her younger sister liked taking paths no one else would. Few other girls would have taken the path she did, learning what she learned. Most would have accepted Gendrys proposal, and Sansa knew it wouldn't be a offer Arya accepted, but if she had, well it had been a good one. But Sansa doubted that Arya would ever settle down and get married, and if she got married, it would be with someone as free as her.
"I may be your queen, but am in first hand your family, and I don't expect you to listen to the things I ask off you, if you don't like them" she said in all honestly, and she knew, unless it was for the safety of her country, or family, she would never order Jon and Arya. They were free to chose for themselves, and thats what she liked. Everyone followed her orders, being needed if nothing else, but she wished for her family to do as it pleased them!

"Theon have said many wrong things over the years, done even more. But truth be told, I wouldn't be here without the man" she said with a small smile, thinking of the man. She had so much to thank him for, things she really didn't get to say, not as much as she had wished for. She had thanked him, but not enough, and if he had been alive, she would almost have given him whatever he asked for. "For Theon"
She lifted her cup, before she drank from it, smiling at Jon. She wasn't sure what Jon thought of the other man, she never really asked, not being needed. But maybe his betrayal had hurt Jon more, being closer to Theon back than, then she ever was. When she thought about it, she had been the odd one out. The others got along well, doing things together, while she spent most of her time by her mothers side. She had found memories of them all, but she was sure Jon had more than she did.
"That the did, seeing we would never have won without them. And it was kind of them to stay, after Petyr was executed, helping us against the dead. But most sane people would, preferring life over death" she stated, knowing that Cersie hadn't seen it that way, or rather thinking that the threat wasn't that big. But Sansa was far from surprised, she had knew the woman better than many others, spending a large amount of time with her.

"At least I tried! I fear you was as stubborn as father was, understanding the struggle mother often had" she smiled towards Jon, their relationship wasn't the same, but for a second Sansa could pretend, especially when Jon took her hand, and she squeezed it back. Sansa meet Jon's eyes, and for a second she almost told him to stay by her side, and never leave her again, but she didn't, knowing it was a ridicules dream. And Jon would most likely think of her as strange. Stating that you would be at someones side, if they asked, is not the same as asking them to stay there forever, and she also didn't wish to be seen as a clingy young girl. Sansa push the thought aside, as she continue holding Jon's hand, and patting Ghost.
"I know you are, and it gives me comfort, knowing that I am not the only Wolf in the North"

"A lot of them still like you Jon, few of them dislikes you, and most would wish to see you back here. Few of the common people understand why you were banished, not having the whole story." she gave him a smile, not wishing for him to think that the people despised him, no she wanted him to know that he was still loved. A lot of them would welcome him back! Maybe not the Lords, either because they distrusted him, wished to be able to conquer her, knowing it would be harder with him by her side, or they just knew that it would be conflict with the south. She knew all this things as well, yet she wished she could tell him to stay. Maybe she could lie, start a rumour that the common people demanded that Jon returned. She played with the thought for a few seconds, before she stopped, not starting to dream of things that wasn't possible.

Sansa closes her eyes for a second, enjoying Jon's gentle touch, once more surprised over the effect he had on her, and all he did was holding her hand. She forced herself not to be lost by the moment, reminding herself that he only did it as a gentle gesture, because they were family, like her mother had held their hands when needed.
"I do so as well, hoping that I can find such a person out there, and that can love me, and the North, because I need him to love my people, not only for them to love him" because of that she knew that it would be near impossible to marry a southerner, seeing most of them hated the north. But she had few options up here in the north. She glanced at the man next to her. Having him by her side had been so easy, for both her and her people. If he hadn't been banished, they could have ruled together, without needing to be married. She could play pretend, but with him by her side, it had been easy. He respected her, listened to her, most of the time, and they were equals, all she needed in the future king. She had it all in Jon, the person she couldn't give the crown and her heart to. For a second she almost felt like crying, but she hindered herself, and concentrated on Jon's gentle touch and Ghost soft fur.