Dystopian Future

Ezra touched his clothes, still not dry, sure they were better than before, but he would soon be cold if he put them on, however the rain had yet to stop and he would be wet as soon as he stepped out. So maybe he should just get dressed, ready to head home, to his warm bed. But the thought of his bed reminded him of the nightmares from last night, and he didn't looked forward to see if they would come to him again. He could work himself to the bone, knowing he would more or less collapse, but it wasn't something he preferred to do, even hated. Because he was so defenseless if he did that. He could summon spirits, ordering them to guard him, but even if they couldn't die, they could still be forced to return to the spirit world, and he would be an easy target. Guessing all he could do was try to sleep, and wake up when he did, accepting what little sleep he got, far from optional, but what else could he do?
"Stop thinking so much! You are just making it worse" Rivik advised him and Ezra smiled.
"Easier said than done"
"Want me to knock you in the head with something?"
"And giving me a headache as well? No thank you"
"Always so boring" Rivik teased as he finished his third cup of tea, Ezra yet being on his first, cold by now, as he sighed reaching for his clothes.

"You are going to get sick!"
"Can't walk home without them now, can I?" he informed the fox as he begun dressing, starting with the shirt, clinging to his body, and it would have been see through being white. He did the same with his jacket, and it felt heavier than normally and he couldn't hinder himself from shivering from the uncomfortable feeling, reminding him from when the guards tried to drown him. He grabbed the gloves, which were dry at least, even a bit warm. It wasn't a big consolation, but better than nothing.
"You are changing when we get home!" Rivik acted like a mother and Ezra smiled.
"I am going to take a bath when we get home!" he informed the fox, dreaming about the warm water surrounding him, made him feel better at once.
"I am okay with that" the fox joked as Ezra placed him around his shoulders, receiving some heat from the spirit as he left his office, looking the door behind him. The brothers had yet to return, something he didn't care to much about, not at the moment at least. They had either left for good, or would be back when he returned tomorrow, or he hoped so, not wishing for them to get into some type of trouble.
"Stop worrying! They can take care of themselves" Rivik said once more and Ezra smiled over the fact that the fox tried to make him feel better as they walked towards the door he gave him a pat on the head, established a contact with his eyes before he opened the door, preparing to head out, into the rain.

When the little group of three approached the old building, the door opened up revealing both the shaman and the fox. At the exact same moment, Zemin tried to escape back over the fence, only to be stopped by Xayah.
“No, you’re not going back out there all alone”, she stated with a voice full of determination. “At least not on my watch and I bet Xue will kill you if you even try”, she continued and carried the big pile of fluff in her skinny arms. It was strange being carried by a woman that looked so slender and skinny. But he already knew she was unnervingly strong and it didn’t really surprise him that she dragged him right past Ezra and Rivik. Then she suddenly stopped right in her track and looked towards the strangers. Her eyes has become narrow and the otherwise straight teeth had become sharp.
“So you're the one who’s behind all of this, aren’t you?” Xayah asked and stroke her log hair away from her body. Some people really have no shame whatsoever, and this little siren lady was definitely one of those.
Don’t start, Xayah”, Zemin hurriedly began and placed himself in between the two beings. You know very well that all of this is beacaue of me, it’s my fault..you can’t blame him.
“He’s right, it isn’t Ezras fault”, Xue said and placed both of his hands over the woman’s respective shoulders. “Hey, don’t you want to see where we live? I can make some tea as well! Let’s at least not eat our..ehm..landlord”, he continued with a nervous laugh and pulled Xayah away, leaving Zemin alone with the shaman and spirit.

For a short while he just stood there, before turning around to follow the other two. He didn’t say anything and just looked instead. The large eyes were watery and just plain out sad. Not even the wolf could say anything about the guilt he felt, as it served him just right. Running off in that way wasn’t the right way to deal with the situation. Not at all. But he’d done it anyways.
“Hey, Zemin are you coming or what? We’re going to make some tea and a couple of sandwiches”, Xue shouted from the kitchen.
Yeah, I’m already on my way, Zemin replied and sent one last glance towards Ezra, before he disappeared into the dining room and thereafter the kitchen. He was quite rotten from the inside out, wasn’t he? Trying not to blame the shaman but still doing so subconsciously. It wasn’t fair at all really. But of course he couldn’t seem to stop himself from acting that way, no matter how much he wanted to. The shaman had been so kind to both him and his brother it almost started aching in his poor heart.

Ezra stod calmly in front of the siren, not taken by her words or actions, more than he got mildly irritated from having a stranger trying to lecture him, and scare him? He wasn't sure what she tried, but her action made Rivik growl, showing irritation openly.
"Great now they bring fucking sirens into this, as vampires wasn't enough. Not even a well behaved one" Rivik snapped at the woman. "You even make Zemin look good!"
Ezra didn't tell the fox to stop, feeling that the woman wasn't worth it. Wondering why the woman even said anything. It was obvious that she had some friendship with the brothers, especially Zemin, but still, that she dared to show up and lecture him for no reason, made him not wanting to defend her, or even help her. For a second he even thought about banishing her to the spirit world, but it would result in more trouble than anything. Ezra couldn't hinder a smile tho, when the brothers defended him, and it actually felt good having someone else then the fox dong it. He couldn't remember anyone standing up for him, during his whole life. It was so much things the brothers did that was new to him, that seemed natural for them. But just as good it felt, it was just as frighting and confusing. It was so much he couldn't understand or see why they behaved like that. It seemed to be somewhat normal for others to do and act that way, ways he never acted. He understood that he was the odd man out, but for him it was illogical to act like that towards a stranger. But maybe it wasn't, maybe it was common sense to do so? Having the brothers around turned everything upside down, everything he thought he knew was shuttered. It made the whole situation worse, like he didn't had enough with the mate thing, everything else was piling up on top of that. He almost sighed, but hindered himself as he met Zemin's look, being forced to do so because of Rivik.

He saw sorrow in the eyes, sorrow he couldn't understand. It wasn't sorrow for him, like he had felt bad for the sirens words. Maybe it was the whole situation, it would be more understandable, it was a strange situation, one Ezra felt bad about, not being able to give the man what he wished for. Or maybe it was because he had run away, something Ezra felt bad about as well, maybe not for the same reasons, but the sorrow in the wolfs eyes was clearly more than Ezra felt. Was he the odd one? Should he feel as much sorrow as Zemin. The fucking wolf made him question everything about himself right now, with just a look, and he almost got angry at him at once. How could he even do that? How could he even make him feel bad for something that wasn't his fault? When the wolf went towards the others Ezra left the house without a word.

The rain had soon soaked him once more, but he was to angry to feel it. Anger was something he rarely felt but the whole situation made him angry. How he questioned himself, how Zemin made him question himself. How the other man seemed to except something from him, something he couldn't give him, and how other fucking people dared to meddle in it all. And those sadden eyes Zemin gave him, how did he even dare to look at him lika that?! How did he even thought he would react, why did he gave him that look? Was he even okay? Ezra stopped at that thought, how he in his angered wondered if the other man was alright. Maybe that was what he should have asked? He knew that it wasn't easy on Zemin and he sighed. The other man had asked if he was alright earlier that day, and from the look he had given him, Zemin didn't seem to be alright. Should he return to ask him? He wondered if the situation would be so much worse, maybe the wolf didn't even wish to speak with him, especially since he hadn't done that earlier. And it wasn't like he wished to have the wolf close, but he sighed, realising he felt bad over the fact that he hadn't asked how Zemin was doing, especially when he had been gone a good portion of the day.
"Hey! Are we going to move? It's fucking raining!" Rivik complained as Ezra turned around. "Fucking great"
"I need to know if he is alright"
"He has his brother and the siren with him, he is alright. I want to go home!" Rivik tried but Ezra didn't listen as he headed back towards the old pub.

He opened the door, feeling the heat hit him once, despite that it wasn't really warm inside, but compared to outside it was a bless. His clothes was as wet as before, if not more, and Rivik complained about his fur as Ezra took a deep breath.
"Zemin can I talk to you?" he called out, having no intention to go looking for the man, not knowing where he was. And he also wished to avoid the siren, before it resulted in him attacking her. So he stayed down in the bar area, leaning against the counter, dripping as he did, hoping Zemin wished to speak with him.

Zemin had managed to shift right before Ezra barged back into the pub. His bones had compelled themselves to crack and break, forcing the body to give up its natural state. But there were positive perks to it as well, being the hands and legs. He carefully pulled both hands through the thick, black hair before putting on Xues hoodie. Because the younger brother was slightly taller than his older sibling, the garment reached well over the mans thighs. At least he didn’t feel naked, and that was the most important part of it.
“Thanks”, he mumbled and sent a tiny smile towards both Xue and Xayah.
“Don’t even thank me, you bought me that hoodie”, the other werewolf said and gave him both thumbs up.
“And I know you don’t like the rain, so no worries. Plus the fact that you’re so goddam snuggly when you’re in that form. I just want to gobble you straight up”, Xayah continued and threw her head backwards, making the hair dance behind her. Jesus, she was really strange, wasn’t she? She didn’t care about manners, nor clothes and nobody could ever tell her off. Except Zemin, who wasn’t affected by her siren nature. Yep, he was way too gay for that shit to work.
“Didn’t you bring anything to wear? It’s not exactly normal to walk around naked in this city”, the oldest brother pointed out and rolled his eyes.
“I didn’t bring any clothes, no. I was in such a big hurry to get to you that I simply forgot them..oops”, she replied and smirked. “If i wasn’t so nice I’d probably have an easy time finding my next meal.”
Fortunately, this particular siren didn’t hunt live beings. She stuck to eating suicide victims for the most part, just like some ghouls did. Eating other people wasn’t something that Zemin approved of, but it was okay as long as they were dead before the feasting part of it. Just the thought of starting to eat some poor soul when they were alive..no, it was so fucking disgusting he didn’t even want to think about it.

His thought were luckily disrupted when the shaman returned back through the door, even though that made him feel even worse. Well, it was better than feeling sick to the stomach.
“Ezra, I don’t think that’s a good ide-“ Xue began to shout, before being abruptly cut off by the older wolf.
“You want to talk to me?” Zemin asked and stepped into the hallway. Both hands were hidden in the pockets of the hoodie and his thick hair laid in perfect, straight locks. The pale skin was accompanied by some rosy tones that stroke themselves over the cheeks and the eyes were weary. He still didn’t know how to behave. Did he even dare to step closer to the other man, or would that result in another scratch mark from Rivik? However, the gaze slowly softened as he turned it towards his bare feet.
“What do you wanna say? Scold me for running off into the city? Tell me how messy and irresponsible I am? Or maybe you think I only care about myself? If that’s what you’re going to tell me then..then I don’t want to hear it, okay?” Zemin said thereafter and straightened himself up, making him appear a tiny bit taller. “You see, I already know I’m a failure, so nobody needs to tell me that.” A strained laugh escaped him and instead of observing the ground, he turned towards the ceiling instead.

What a fucking mess. The only reason Ezra had turned back, was probably to do just that - tell Zemin what a stupid little bitch he was. Maybe he’d tell him how he overreacted and that it couldn’t be that bad? But it was! It really felt that bad and he couldn’t change that feeling. The shaman had saved him twice, which had most likely resulting in the flicking of a switch. If he hadn’t done those things, if he hadn’t had that homey scent, then it’d been different.
He stared at the crooked ceiling, with his eyebrows pulled tightly together. Both Xayah and Xue could be heard from the kitchen, even if they tried to speak quietly. A specific spot on the surface above him was dirty and there was a fly hitting the glass on the window over and over again. It was basically impossible to concentrate in that sort of environment, no matter how hard he tried. That spot had to be cleaned, the people in the kitchen had to shut up and the fly had to be killed. Coping wasn’t easy, but making lists were. No wonder he’d wanted to become a doctor, being organised and only wanting to help every single living soul.

“Do you hate me? Am I disgusting to you?” Zemin whispered after some silence, feeling the tears trickling down his rosy cheeks. “Why can’t you just love me? Hold me..it’d all been so much easier if that was the case..” he continued, finally breaking out into some real, professional sobbing.

Ezra blinked a few times, surprised by Zemin's words, so surprised that he even forgot what he was about to say for a second. He hadn't expected the other one to say any of those things, and how did he even dare to say what he thought Ezra would say. He couldn't hinder himself from becoming angry once more. Zemin's words almost made Ezra miss that he was human once more, and if Rivik hadn't snuggled up against his cheek he would most likely have sent the other one flying before he left once more. But he managed to calm down to some extent by taking a deep threat.
"You are such an idiot" Rivik glared at Zemin before Ezra took him into his arms and stroke him, telling him to be quiet.
"First of, I don't appreciate that you put words in my mouth" his voice was calm hiding away the anger, since he had no intention to argue with Zemin, he hadn't returned to do that. "No I returned to ask if you were okay?"
But as he said those words he almost regretted it. All this almost seemed to take it's toll on Zemin as it did on Ezra, and maybe he did it worse by returning. Maybe the younger one would be better off if he had been left alone with his brother and the siren, but he just had to know that he was alright.
"Never said I see you as a failure, once again you put words in my mouth" he stated, and it was true, he didn't see the man as a failure, Zemin hadn't given him a reason to do so. It may be how the other man saw himself, from what he said, Ezra guessed it was the case. It was true that people often saw themselves in different lights than others did, but Ezra couldn't see what the man saw. It was true he knew very little about Zemin and his past, but still.

"You haven't given me a reason to hate or feel disgusted by you" he said honestly. He could hate the man for the whole vampire thing, but even without Zemin, the vampire would be looking for him, and now thanks to Zemin he knew about it. And he had no reason to be disgusted by him, not even with the whole mate thing, he was rather unsure and scared of it, or the contact. But it wasn't the mans fault. However by his next question he feel into silence, what the hell did he expect him to answer? Even if he hadn't been fucked up, he had known the man for three days, no one feel in love that fast. Sure if he wasn't him, love could be an idea and possible, but he didn't even know how to love someone, on top of everything. Was that what he expected from him? He wanted him to love him? No one had ever wanted his love, or even given him love. Maybe it was some familiar love he and the spirits had, but it was different. However hearing the sorrow in the other man's voice and seeing how he cried, he felt sorry for Zemin, he hadn't asked for this. He placed Rivik on the counter and slowly, carefully walked over to the other one, scared as he did before he placed an arm around him, hoping to give him some comfort, as he was prepared for the worst.
"Zemin I..." he started unsure if he wanted to continue, but he needed to give the man some sort of explanation "I was captured when I was a kid, held prisoner for more than ten years, tortured to the degree that I am surprised that I am even alive. They maid me blind, and you saw my hands, I have scars all over my body. I never learned how to handle contact after that, I avoid it most of the time. Being near you now is a struggle. It has nothing to do with you as a person, it's the same whoever it is. I can't really handle it, almost all contact triggers memories. The only positive contact I have got is from the spirits, mostly Rivik, and that took years. I never learned how to handle it, I never learned how to love. So it really has nothing to do with you"
His voice wasn't more than a whisper, far from pleased to talk about it, but he really wanted Zemin to know that it wasn't something wrong with him, it was all about himself, things he couldn't do or handle.

Even though Zemin was sort of thankful for the answer he was given, the sobbing didn’t stop. First of all; he’d fucked up even further by putting tons of words into the other mans mouth and he’d almost accused him for not being more onboard with the whole mating thing. But who would’ve been? And after being given that explanation, he couldn’t be more ashamed of himself and his stupid actions. However, that didn’t change the urge of being close to the shaman and when he put his arm around him..well, everything just fell even more into pieces. Zemin couldn’t stop himself, not being able to control the movement of his limbs as the arms threw themselves around Ezra. Fuck, this could only end badly if he knew himself well enough. What had happened to that excellent self control of his? Had it just gotten up and left, because it seemed as if it had.
“But I would never do that to you, you know?” He whispered, with his lips closely placed next to one of the ears. “And everybody knows how to love, even you..you’re just scared to admit it”, he continued quietly and opened his eyelids, that had previously been shut tightly together. “Please, can you at least try to understand that? And for Christ’s sake, I really don’t care about those scars or anything of that..I just want this, okay?” The wolf mumbled and buried his face in Ezras shoulder, before the sobbing began once more. The tears didn’t have any plans to stop trickling down his cheeks anytime soon and the emotions weren’t literally all over the place. It was if as someone had opened a jar filled with pearls and ripped it over - that was how he felt for the time being.

Eventually it became so bad he couldn’t even sense the shaman any longer, couldn’t read wether he was scared or just really tensed up. All the human aspects of Zemin had just rushed over all of the wolf senses, leaving him alone and confused. The only thing he could seem to focus on was clinging on tightly to the older man, like a child stick to one of his parents. Of course this was quite different, but that was probably what it looked like. His hands weren’t capable of letting go and the lips burned like the fired of hell. Before it was just the general idea of attention that his entire body had been screaming for, but now the lips seemed to creep forward. Stupid heat. As if it wasn’t already bad enough? Sooner or later he’d start to drool all over the place.
“Why are you so..so..I can’t even place it. I just want you so fucking bad and it hurt so goddam much.” It really did though, it hurt like fucking crazy, as he was burning up from the inside out without being able to cool any of it down. If he’ll was real, this must have been it. Any other explanation wasn’t possible.

Feeling the mans arms around him he tensed up, for a second wanting to do nothing than runaway, and banishing the man to the spirit world. He could feel how Rivik almost rushed to his side attacking the other man but Ezra managed to hinder the fox and himself. It was strange being hugged by someone, scary as hell feeling someone so close. The only time someone had been this close to him was either when they brought him back to life or when they inspected his wound closely, deciding where to hurt him next, but this different. It still scarred him, but it was also pleasant, feeling the heat from someone else, being hold in a nice and friendly way, even if Zemin clung more to him than anything else, it wasn't in a mean or frighting way. He took a deep breath and managed to relax, to some extant at least.

Ezra almost laughed at the mans words, not an amused laugh, a cold sorrow one, maybe he would have done that if Zemin hadn't been so close to his ear, once again sending shivers down his spine. He could see what the man did all the time, thanks to Rivik, making it a bit less scary, but even having the man so close was a challenge. Feeling his breath against his ear made him close his eyes for a second, forcing himself to control his pulse and reminding himself that he was safe, far away from his cell before he answered.
"I am almost sure you wouldn't do that to me. However that does very little difference. All contacts wakes memories, no matter who it's from. It was the same with the spirits, and if I summon a new one, one I don't know I keep at a distance" he explained, remembering how long it had taken Jax to get close to him, despite that he had Rivik before. Human was a even bigger challenge, and putting himself in the situation he did now was a surprise to himself, he expected himself to runaway any second, to never return.
"I am scared of contact Zemin not love. you can't be scared of something you don't know about. Trust me, I don't know anything about love" he said honestly. He may do that without knowing it, it was true, but he didn't now how to act lovely towards another human, how you felt when you were in love, and when someone loved him, he just didn't know. He had never been interested in it, never thought of it.
"I am trying to understand Zemin. I really am" he said in a low voice, he was even holding the man back, maybe not for the same reasons the other one held him, but he tried to comfort him at least. "And I care about the scars, they remind me of it every time I see them. There is a reason I hides them, even when I am alone"

Ezra tried to make the other man stop sobbing by holding him, unsure of what to do. When he had been in this state, he had held Rivik, snuggled with him but that was different, mostly because he tried to comfort someone. So he mostly sat there as Zemin clung to him, and he let him as he losly held him, until he seemed to calm down, something Ezra guessed wasn't because of his efforts. And Ezra felt better about it for a second before Zemin spoke again, making him uncomfortable. He didn't even know what to answer him, he didn't felt what Zemin felt, even if the hug was nice to some extent it was also frightening, and the man's words didn't help, they even made him tense up once more.
"I don't think that's a good idea" was all he managed to answer the man at last.

So basically it didn’t matter wether Zemin tried to be gentle or rough, as it’d always end up bringing back displeasing memories? No matter what he did or how hard he tried, it would all just shatter into tiny pieces that no one would ever be able to pick up? Just knowing that fact hurt. He’d never be able to even come close to his mate, at least not closer than a hug. But a hug wasn’t enough! Not even close. The wolf’s breaths suddenly became strained and in a matter of seconds he was gasping for air. His windpipe had literally closed itself up just by the thought of never being able to be fully happy. It was almost like a death sentence in a sense, even if that was a bit exaggerated.
“I-I can’t b-breathe”, he stuttered and finally let go of Ezra. “It’s t-too hard”, he continued with a whole load of difficulty. Zemin turned away from the shaman and sunk down on the ragged floor, with both hands grasping at his own throat. No, he couldn’t force himself on Ezra, that wasn’t right, even though he really wanted to end the pain. Or at least ease it a bit.
He pulled the hoodie down over his face and wrapped his arms around his legs, trying to hide himself from the rest of the world. Taking deep, slow breaths was also a part of it - the attempt of regaining his self control. However the results weren’t great and the body had gotten a mind of its own. Zemin suddenly stood back up and stared at the man, without being able to actually see anything. Everything had turned pitch black.

“You dislike contact because you’ve gotten so many bad memories of it, right?” He began and allowed the hoodie to fall back down, revealing his somewhat desperate facial expression. “Well..if you let me I can try to make some good memories as well”, the werewolf thereafter stuttered as his hands travelled up Ezras cheeks. No, this certainly wouldn’t end well, that was for sure. It almost seemed as if he’d become slightly bipolar during these past days.
“I’ll be super gentle, I promise”, Zemin begged as the dark eyes widened. Okay, what the fuck was he actually saying? The words had turned from odd to plain out weird as hell in just a matter of seconds. If Ezra had any idea of what was currently moving back and forth in the wolf’s brain, he would most likely not be able to resist the urge to kill him. Zemin knew he was simply being gross and disgusting, but it still didn’t hinder him. All he wanted was to get something in return and not any of this one-sided love. Well love and love, it wasn’t actually like the pure kind, yet still something - something that felt a lot like it and brought up the exact same urges. With other words, disgusting considering what the shaman had just told him. The other man didn’t want any of that and it was obvious that he low-key feared it. But not even that seemed to get any of Zemins thoughts under control. Maybe they should’ve just chained him up against a wall and left him there for the time being? Not a bad idea actually. How hard could it even be? To get a couple of bolts and chains, maybe a hammer and of course a sturdy wall. An excellent idea, by an excellently mental weirdo.

Ezra actually got a bit worried when Zemin stated that he couldn't breath, knowing it could only end badly if the man didn't get air. He went through the spells he knew in his mind, but none of them would be to much help, since most was defensing spells. He maybe had one that would calm the man down, seeing it seemed like the state come from some sort of panic, or anxiety. But if it wouldn't work, there was a chance it would make Zemin's situation worse, and he didn't wish for that. He thought if he had any potion that could help the wolf, he had, but none that was finish, and they wouldn't be in time to help the wolf. For a second he thought about knocking the other man, knowing how to do that without hurting him. Being forced to sleep would calm him if nothing else, but it wasn't a safe way to handle the situation either. For a second he wished he had studied more healing, like most shamans, maybe cleansing the mans aura would help. That thought almost made him laugh, he rarely took his fellow shamans seriously, and things like that was one of the reasons. However; when Zemin suddenly stood up, he almsot took a step back, being unprepared with the sudden movement, but the man did nothing more and Ezra relaxed once more, until Zemin spoke once more.

If it all had happened to someone else, he may have found it fascinating, seeing how words can make him react, just fucking words. It wasn't even harsh words, it wasn't like the man threatened him or anything. He only asked, somewhat, logical question, but it still made him feel uncomfortable. He felt like he was able to walk into a situation he couldn't control. He had no idea how it would evolve, but Zemin's expression didn't made him calmer. He understood that it was a difficult situation for the other one as well, wanting so much, and giving nothing in return, bu Ezra wasn't even sure how much he more he could give him, at least not right now. The mans touch yesterday, despite being gentle, had given him nightmares. And knowing that he had hugged the man, one of the biggest step he had taken in years, however Zemin wasn't satisfied. Ezra wasn't sure if the other one would ever be satisfied. Most likely not from what Ezra gave him, and he couldn't hinder himself from wondering if Zemin would stop being gentle at some point, trying to take what he wonted? After all, he didn't know the man and how far he was willing to go. Maybe Ezra shouldn't have hugged him, giving him some sort of hope and even more desire. Yet before Ezra even had time to answer the other one he felt his hands up on his cheeks. Just as yesterday it was gentle, soft and warm, different from everyones else touch, but he couldn't hinder the memories, and how he expected to be hit in someway. But even if the punishment never came, he couldn't relax, all he could do was stand there, trying to calm himself and grasp the situation.
"Zemin I don't know..." was all he managed to whisper to the other man, sounding more unsure than he ever had.

“Just the fact that you’re not saying absolutely not, is speaking for itself”, Zemin said as both eyebrows pulled themselves together into a tight knot. “I mean, you’re obviously very unsure, which means you don’t knows what to do? Does that mean you’re afraid I’ll do something bad towards you if you say no, or that you’re slightly intrigued by the thought of it?” He wondered and smirked. Wang Zemin was a very handsome man, with his thick, black hair and the dark, slightly narrow eyes. But at the same time he was kind of cute and looked very innocent, even if that clearly wasn’t the case. Or well, it actually was, but that part of him seemed to have crept away into hiding, leaving him with only the strange aspects of himself. It was actually a bit scary being left with that single part of him, because there was no controlling it - and the little werewolf in question really valued organising and control. He couldn’t live without and, yet obviously not with it either. Fucking hell, it was tearing in his nerves real bad.

“Don’t you think that’s enough?” Xue suddenly asked, where he stood leaned against the doorframe. Both eyebrows frowned and a grimace stroke itself across the youthful face, making him look quite inapproachable. This wasn’t a look that usually sat on the younger brothers face, making Zemin return somewhat back to his brittle senses. That didn’t mean he moved away from the shaman though, and both hands were still placed on his shoulders.
“What? I’m not actually doing anything you know, we’re just having a chat”, the older one replied and looked over his shoulder, towards the taller version of himself.
“Doesn’t look like you’re only having a friendly chat, now does it?” Xue pointed out and laughed bitterly. “You know, right now you’re actually reminding me of those jerks in school that can’t seem to take no for an answer. They basically go after the person they fancy and never backs down, not even when the person clearly tells them to back the fuck off. I know you can’t control this, but it’s staring to turn into something more than just..I don’t even know”, he continued, before letting his gaze fall onto the fox. “And if you continue any further than this, I bet Rivik will end up killing you..or maybe Ezra will? At least I would prefer if you stayed alive.”

The last words hit Zemin straight in the face and he immediately removed his hands from Ezras shoulders. He’d only been thinking about himself, not even considering how the rest of the world felt or reacted. Xue was disgusted, the shaman most likely traumatised and Rivik murderous. Everything had really shut itself off, leaving the wolf in total dark was, only caring about himself and his own urges. Shit, how rotten can one person actually be?
Zemin took a few steps backwards and stared between the younger sibling and the shaman, totally frozen with fear.
“I-I’m so sorry”, he stuttered and scratched his neck, finally pulling both eyes down towards the floor. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I totally lost it, didn’t I?” The wolf continued with a nervous laugh and tried to shake off the feeling of dread that had overcome him. Farewell self confidence, bye bye self control. Once again, the tears started to build up behind his eyelids and soon they slid down the pale cheeks. However he didn’t sob or make any kind of sounds, only staring into space without any facial expression.